Chameleon in a Candy Store (2) (The Oxygen Thief Diaries)

Description: Chameleon in a Candy Store (2) (The Oxygen Thief Diaries) Description: Product Description Anonymous is back with the intoxicating, darkly dangerous, and wildly addictive sequel to his New York Times bestselling debut novel Diary of an Oxygen Thief. Picking up the story where it left off, the controversial protagonist of cult classic Diary of an Oxygen Thief retools his advertising skills to seduce women online. It’s a pursuit that quickly becomes a dangerous fixation, often requiring even more creativity and deception than his award-winning ad campaigns. Dazzling, daunting, and darkly hilarious, this spellbinding sequel is a spectacular indictment of a modern love twisted beyond recognition. This title was previously published as Chameleon on a Kaleidoscope. About the Author Anonymous is the New York Times bestselling author of Diary of an Oxygen Thief. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. I knew if I wanted to have sex with a girl within the first three seconds of meeting her. After that, it was just a matter of how much I was willing to put up with to make it happen. This period of putting up with their bullshit was what women On dates with girls I didn’t even like trying to get into pants that didn’t even fit. Rummaging around inside them looking for what? Had this always been the case even before the drinking? If so, all I’d done was exchange one addiction for another. Far from being free, the prison had just gotten bigger. And they just sat there, protected by the romantic rules of engagement, categorizing my attempts at fucking them. How did I compare to the guy last night? At least he paid for dinner. And wanted children. He was taller too. I was happy to let the gargoyle in my midriff drag me to within fucking distance of these creatures, but even I couldn’t make myself pretend I wanted babies. YVETTE Bobbing and swaying in front of my face as we ascended the steps to her fourth-floor Elizabeth Street apartment was the real reason we’d been together three years. Our evening stroll had been cut short by a rainstorm, so once we got inside we shook off our wet things. We lay across her bed and chatted. Ordinarily this would have been enough to get the ball rolling, but I was still not confident enough about making a move. I had already discovered that working for a bad ad agency required just as much energy as working for a good one, and I had an early start the next day. If we didn’t have sex soon I’d be forced to stay the entire night. Did she want me to leave? Time to Making an overly dramatic announcement that I had better go if I was to be in decent shape for work the next day, I began to say my good- byes to that magnificent world-class ass. “You hug it like it’s a separate person,” she said, thawing a little. “You’re accusing me of having an affair with your ass, behind your back?” A smile. She was pissed because I hadn’t picked up on her latest hint that we should live together, get married, have children, and die of old age in each other’s arms. These hints had more recently taken the form of exaggerated street mimes. The huge overacted crazy-eyed smile she reserved for babies was subtle compared to the impossible affection conjured up in the presence of every old couple we encountered. Especially, for some reason, if they were Asian. I resisted the urge to respond or acknowledge because I knew that once the subject was brought out into the open, it could never be put back in the box. There was no way I was going to marry her, but there was no way I’d be allowed access to her ass if she knew this. I hoped that my silence would indicate that I was still open to the possibilities, but it was only a matter of time before something would need to be said. I felt sufficiently encouraged by that halfhearted smile to spank her gently through her cotton knickers. This led to touching and tickling, pecking and pouting, and after she broke away to brush her teeth, turn out the lights, and close her lapt Features: GALLERY Returns: In the unlikely event that you would like to return your purchase, we allow returns that are processed within 30 days of date of purchase. Please contact us for a return authorization and the return shipping address. Shipping costs are non-refundable. Payment: The following forms of payment are accepted: PayPal All major credit cards. Shipping: Our orders are generally handled and processed within 1-2 business days. Expedited shipping options are also available and can be selected during checkout. At this time, we only ship to physical addresses that are located within the 48 contiguous states of the United States of America. We are unable to ship to P.O. boxes, APO or FPO addresses, or international addresses directly. We are not responsible for undeliverable / incorrect addresses

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Location: Denver, Colorado

End Time: 2024-12-18T20:36:20.000Z

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