The Teddy Bear Conspiracies by Myke Feinman (English) Paperback Book

Description: The Teddy Bear Conspiracies by Myke Feinman, Anthony Feinman The Roswell crash experts are all wrong. It wasnt a weather balloon as the government claims. It wasnt little green men either. The pilots that crashed in the remote New Mexico desert in July 1947 were four teddy bears. Or more precisely, they were four aliens that look like teddy bears. Nonsense, you say? Well consider the proof contained within the pages of this whimsical sci-fi spoof ripped from the headlines in the supermarket tabloids. This story pokes fun at just about every alien conspiracy theory ever foisted upon human beings. This work has been described as "Winnie the Pooh meets the X-Files." It documents a terrifying, compelling saga of a war raging for more than half a century right here on Earth between two alien races. The Orisha The Orisha come from a planet orbiting the constellation Ursa Major, a.k.a. the Great Bear (where else?). They look like 18-inch teddy bears and freeze stiff into a state of suspended hibernation when humans approach. Therefore, that teddy bear on the shelf in your house could actually be one of the Orishans. The Orishans are beary loving beings. They dont even have weapons that can kill. They carry Attitude-Adjuster-Sleeper-Blasters that put the enemy to sleep. The enemy wakes up the next day with a much nicer attitude. The Arjogun The Arjogun, by contrast to the Orisha, are just the opposite. They are what humans refer to as the "alien grays," and favor logic over emotion. However, they have plenty of emotions, especially hatred for the Orisha. The Arjogun have been trying to destroy the planet Orisha for centuries, but cant get past a barrier of powerful love the Orishan Wizards have placed around their home planet. Earth, on the other hand, has no such protection. The Arjogun are afraid of the humans, fearing their nuclear weapons will be used on alien races once the humans figure out how to travel across the vastness of outer space. The Arjogun decide to perform a pre-emptive strike on Earth: make a deal with the humans by trading weather control technology before the humans destroy the Arjogun. The Crew In "The Teddy Bear Conspiracies," four Orishans crash on Earth near Roswell, New Mexico in July 1947. The ship contains a "Hug" of Orishans, or squad, led by Captain Schaumburg Harmony. Schaumburg is the only member of the Orishan High Command Space Fleet who has not earned his License To Hug, a coveted honor denoting that the operative has the right to infiltrate other societies and spy for the Orishan High Command. On his last mission, Schaumburg ordered his crew to save the life of an Arjogun agent. That order resulted in Schaumburg failing to carry out his assigned mission, therefore he did not earn the License To Hug. Schaumburgs crew includes his wife, Millennium "Leni" Harmony, a powerful Wizard in the Mystical Order of the Golden Paw. Leni has recently completed her studies in Wizardry and has not yet earned her Wizards wand. Next is Schaumburgs second-in-command, Commander Louis LaHug, a feisty Orishan who wears a pirate hook on one paw "just to look cool." Louis is also the "procurement officer" for Schaumburgs Hug. In other words, he steals needed stuff while the Hug is in the field. The final crewmember is the ships counselor and medical officer, Chocolate Harmony. Chocolate traveled to Earth with her big brother Schaumburg on her first deep-space mission for the Orishan High Command. She is the most empathetic of the four Orishans, which helps her in her medical profession. Orishan Society The Orishan High Command ruled that Schaumburg acted correctly on his last mission, but still withheld his License To Hug. A rival in the Orishan Command, Frank Vil, never lets Schaumburg forget he lacks his License To Hug. Vil is also off on a mission to Earth, arriving in the summer of 1947. FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Author Biography Myke Feinman is editor of The Paper, a weekly newspaper. Hes worked at The Daily Times of Ottawa, The Times-Press of Streator, and the Herscher Press. He is also author/illustrator for two graphic novels and wrote a childrens book, In Search of the First Teddy Bear with photos by his son, Anthony. Anthony Feinman currently works for Heartland Bank & Trust in Bloomington, Illinois. His photos have appeared in the Herscher Press, The Times-Press of Streator, The Paper of Dwight and The Heartbeat. He is also the author/illustrator for a comic book, Escape in a Dirigible. Details ISBN141344069X Author Anthony Feinman Short Title TEDDY BEAR CONSPIRACIES Audience Age 9-12 Language English ISBN-10 141344069X ISBN-13 9781413440690 Media Book Format Paperback DEWEY FIC Year 2004 Country of Publication United States Imprint Xlibris Us AU Release Date 2004-07-16 NZ Release Date 2004-07-16 US Release Date 2004-07-16 UK Release Date 2004-07-16 Pages 386 Publisher Xlibris Us Publication Date 2004-07-16 Audience Children / Juvenile We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. With fast shipping, low prices, friendly service and well over a million items - you're bound to find what you want, at a price you'll love! TheNile_Item_ID:132732161;

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